In this discussion of moral reasoning I would like to talk about the topic on having a baby outside marriage. Having a baby outside marriage, for me, is an action that should not automatically be considered as right or wrong, but rather be approached in a neutral point of view. This point of view stems from my experiences growing up, learning the lesson that things are not always what they seem. Everything varies, and the final decision whether something is right or wrong must always consider the context in which the situation takes place.
Despite being an idea that conflicts the bible, having a baby outside marriage, I feel, should not be viewed in a negative light, and, consequently, be considered neither bad nor sinful. Beginning with the concept of Marriage, how I see it, it is simply a title that is placed on the relationship between man and woman. Marriage merely establishes the existence of a relationship, which, I think, is not required. I mean, Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, did not have a title to their relationship. They just enjoyed each other’s company, taking pleasure in the world God had given them. If in a relationship, the love of a man and woman towards each other is true, then there is no need for marriage being a pre-requisite for having a baby. The only pre-requisites for having a baby is having a mutual love, understanding, and acceptance of the importance of bringing in and raising a new child of God into this world.
Based from my answers, I would say that I lean towards being a rationalist amongst other choices. I say this because, just as a rationalist’s answer varies depending on the pros and cons of a situation, I view that having a baby outside of marriage should be considered as right or wrong only after the circumstances revolving around the relationship of a man and woman is contemplated on.
First of all, congratulations! Bringing a baby into this world is one of the biggest accomplishments that one is capable is doing, and to see you actually do it… I am proud of you brother.
I know that growing up, we have not always been at the best of terms as brothers but being aware of your decision to have a baby outside marriage, I write to you today not as a brother but as a concerned friend.
In the three years that you have spent with Jessica, I have not seen you any happier. Through you guys have experiences a lot of downs, the ups that both of you have experienced have likewise been numerous as well. I say this because bringing a baby into this world, the relationship between you guys will be tested, and both of you will have to make sacrifices for the betterment of your child.
Raising a child is not the easiest of tasks, but after talking with my married friends, it will be one of the happiest times of your life. Based from their advice, there are three main values that you must posses now that you have a child. The first is to weigh everything out, in terms of you, your wife, and your child. You will always have to use reason in making decisions as there will always be immediate repercussions to your family. Though this is so, making decisions also requires caution in times of questionable situations. If you’re not sure of something, better be prepared for the worst rather than regret decisions in the future. Just as you must exercise caution, you must also apply suspicion in the pains and pleasures within your life as either may bring bias into deciding something to be morally right or wrong.
I am not saying that both of you are not capable, all I am saying is that whether it be for the good or for the bad, I implore you to always approach future challenges with reason combined with caution and suspicion as you are not merely looking out for yourself anymore, you have a family. Best of luck brother!
Try talking to Jessica about marriage. I know that it is not her thing but it may be valuable to your child’s development in the future. Think of him.